Put Away Your Toys!

i dont know where this is going... sometimes stupid stuff just pisses me off... actually, not stupid stuff, but stupid lazy people...

you know the guy...

sets up camp inside the squat rack (MY squat rack, by the way)... he's got a bosu, a swiss ball, a collection of dumb-bells, a jump rope, some plates, and a 25lb. kettlebell... bar removed and laying on the floor outside the rack...

no problem... whatever dude... you can do your circus tricks...

i did my warming up and moved to another rack.

and then, dude got done... packed up his bag (which i now refer to as his "douche bag")... and left... all sweaty and obviously quite proud of himself...

and he left all of his crap inside the rack. puddle of sweat in the middle of the floor, swiss ball sitting there, bosu (upside down, of course), 6 dumb bells, various plates scattered, jump rope hanging on the hooks, kettlebell... all just there for someone else to clean up.

and i thought of what a friend of mine would say, "What an asshat..."

and then i thought, "What is this dude like in the rest of his life?" There are some truths... at least things i believe are "universal" behavioral truths...

one of these "truths" is - As we behave in one relationship, we typically behave in all our relationships.

in other words, this dude was selfish, messy, childish, entitled, arrogant in the way he treated the gym and the rest of us there... he's probably this way in his relationship to his co-workers, his job, etc. - when someone isnt watching, this dude is just a selfish and entitled ass... does his "Momma" know he's like this? (actually, i bet she does, he's was probably allowed to act like this as a kid)...

i'm probably making too much about it because he was IN MY SQUAT RACK at MY NORMAL TIME... and set aside for a second that his "workout" was some b.s. made up silliness... rude, disrespectful, and above all feeling "entitled" to behave this way... we all know these types of folks, we all know these people, we see them in our work and in other places... watch folks in the gym... not just how they lift or how they work out, but when they are done, how they treat the bar, the weights, the space they use, the water fountain - are they spitting their snot it in?, do they share? do they treat you and others and the facility itself with respect and pride?

do you?

Fear and Lifting

So, i got under the bar... ready to squat. This week is my heaviest week in this training month. Next week i will de-load... so this week was heavy. I woke up this morning... well go farther back... this weekend, when i was planning the lifts, i started to get nervous... a little sweaty... thinking about how heavy that weight would feel... that nervous / excited / scared / even angry feeling that the thought of putting some big weight on my back engenders...

see, it's been a while

ok... back a little farther still...
not quite 8 months ago, i had both of my hips replaced... arthritis... injury... not paying attention... blah blah blah... the "why" of it... the "HOW did this happen" of it is less important than the forward movement... i had pain, a LOT of it, all the time... i limped, all the time, i couldnt get into a car without some serious gymnastics.

and now, i dont have pain at all... It is awesome. my goal now is to get back to lifting heavy weights.

so there i was... thinking about this all weekend. and the voices in my head were all about the NOISE from fears... fear of injury, fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of going backwards in my recovery... those voices were just relentless.

fast forward... back to the gym

and i got under the bar. heart racing. focus on proper form, footwork, bar position ... and lift it off ... small steps back ... DEEP breath ... drop slowly into the hole... good depth ... DRIVE UP ... and... it felt good, solid, strong ... so another rep... dig deep for the third ... cold sweat on the fourth... rack the bar.

the weight felt like weight... but i felt strong and solid.

i've said it before, and probably more often than i should, and i probably make if fit where it doesnt... whatever.

but, i think the bar is often a metaphor for life... those voices of fear or doubt that hit us in relationships, in our work, with our kids, in taking a chance... this is where we are tested! it is the test of our desire and our ability to do what we have committed to do despite the fears and the voices (real or in our heads). the fears are always there, talking... making the obstacles seem HUGE... heavier than we THINK we can move... and the bar is our test... it is MY test. to overcome MY fears.

even if i had fallen, had re-injured, had to "bail" at the bottom ... that matters LESS... moving the weight IS important, but getting under the bar and committing, full on is MORE important.

i feel that simply by getting under that bar, that i ... that when WE do that ... that WE are proving to ourselves that we can overcome what confronts us, that we can quiet those voices that tell us we cant, the voices that tell us we will fail, or caution us that we will be mocked... when we hear those voices, and we STILL get under the bar and willingly put all we have against that obstacle... THAT is the success... THAT is why we are here... to constantly confront our fears and to push against them either to success or to failure - and to do it again - over and over - that is the purpose... the goal... and THAT is the BAR.

dont let fear control you ... get under the bar... silence the voices ... then ... do it again ... it wont get easier, but the voices matter less.

Habits & Rituals

I love Elliot Hulse's stuff!

Watch this!

My wife is always losing her keys… and, well, pretty much most of her stuff (cell phones, books, DVDs, etc.)… on the other hand… I don’t… I know where my stuff is…

And it drives her crazy!

See, in our marriage, she is the "organized" one… the planner… the process person - if you have to move or have a yard sale or do a fundraiser… she is THE person you want. In fact, her career was process development, change management, and continuous process improvement systems. She consulted for years in both "white collar" and "blue collar" environments. She is pretty much amazing at her job.

And yet… "Madame Organization" can't find her keys… (I love it!)

And what really frustrates her is my stuff never gets lost (UNLESS SHE BORROWS them… but I wont go there)… because I have created a ritual around where my "stuff" goes and if I don’t put things in their spot I just know that something is not right… by creating a ritual I have removed clogging my conscious brain with lots of meaningless info…

So, all of this stuff - these rituals play into my work and my workouts. And now, instead of my "opinion" there is some science to it… Form a Habit!

Make it a habit. Create a ritual! Take it out of the "conscious" space and put it in the "sub"conscious or "un"conscious and take "will power" OUT of the equation. I'm reading a great book about food and nutrition called "The Foodist" - by Darya Pino Rose - you should buy it here… she is a neuro-scientist who happens to love food and has done some interesting work on why we eat what we eat… the choices we make… our "will power". It is fascinating and very helpful in the world of nutrition and food… but the same principles can be applied to creating a habit out of anything.

I don’t care what anyone says… workouts and working out regularly is not easy or simple… you don’t just have the gene to enjoy it or not… it takes discipline to get to the gym, I don’t care who you are… but as it is now a habit for me, NOT going puts me just out of sorts and I have to go! In fact, the willpower has to kick-in when I need to make my body take a break to recover…


Learn to make HABITS and RITUALS of the things you say you WANT - your life will change…

Awesome Article here, too!

Being an Apprentice

So I wrote about some of the characteristics I was looking for in finding a good mentor / coach and I was going to start writing about how to be “coachable” or to be in a state of mind where you can receive guidance, feedback, direction, learning etc. as we work to improve and to master something – in my case, it is my current process of working on the deadlift… and a whole lot of other things i'm working on....

Well, there are 2 new books out that cover this far better than I could…

These are by two of my favorite modern authors: Robert Greene (http://powerseductionandwar.com/blog/) and Tim Ferriss (http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/)

Robert Greene looks at the historical perspective of becoming a master of something in his book “Mastery”. When you think about folks who become great, it doesn’t just “happen”… they spend years learning under others…

In “The Four Hour Chef”, Ferriss looks at how to become a life-long “learner”…

In his blog, Ferriss actually takes some pieces from Greene’s book, which is just pretty cool:
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2012/11/12/the-magic-of-apprenticeship-a-how-to-guide/

So, here is the teaser for Greene’s book:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bNiAADUh0FY

and the teaser for Ferriss’:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z-fkHUkCPs

I highly recommend either… but like my wife’s grandpa “Boppy” used to say, “I like either, but I’ll take both.”

Get a Coach (Mentor):

“All coaching is, is taking a player where he can't take himself.” - Bill McCartney

I mentioned previously that I have a friend who’s been coaching me / watching me when I’m lifting (powerlifts or Olympic lifts)… the last 10 months, TJ has been working with me the entire time. He’s with me several times a week and helps me with improving my range of motion, my technique, my form, etc. He doesn’t write a program, he doesn’t do nutritional stuff or that kind of thing – he is an extra set of eyes and a completely unbiased feedback system.

NOT easy for me – I don’t like to ask for help… ever… I have been lifting for more than 30 years – longer than TJ has even been alive! What does HE know? I know that even the best athletes have coaches – usually more than one, actually… I know it… but I have this ego-delusional perspective that I’m that unique character that can watch YouTube, read books, and do research so I don’t need a coach…

And I ended up injured, not getting stronger, and not able to think about how best to move forward. I “knew” these things… but I denied them… However, I’m pretty anal about writing down my numbers (weights, times, etc.) and as I was reviewing them I started talking to myself like one of my clients – stagnation, even going backwards, etc.
And so like talking to one of my clients, I told myself to get some external perspective…

So, I reached out to TJ and we started working together…

It started simply enough… I was dealing with a very specific issue – my range of motion in my hips (dislocated hip, torn labrum, etc. all led to some severe impingement)… and I needed someone else to make sure I was improving and doing the exercises correctly… however, this has evolved into a more holistic feedback mechanism.

And throughout this process, everything has improved and TJ has proven himself to be invaluable. If you want to get better at what you are doing – lifting weights, running a business, or whatever – then find yourself a coach… you are not so “special” that you don’t need this… no one is…

Why

why not? i run into people frequently who ask me about our chosen way of life. frankly, it is a process…i struggle with constantly reducing the complexity in my life. and then… i look… and i’ve filled my day and my time with “stuff”. it’s an ongoing process.

the sub-title of this blog is taken from an interview i heard with Maya Angelou - i thought it captured where i am at this time in my life… and i’m constantly working through it - learning and relearning that.

In essence, I’m working through the process of choosing a smaller footprint in order to have a bigger handprint.
doing this by minimizing needs (in terms of using less, to be sure, but also consciously no longer being a slave to: debt, stuff, a job, etc.) in order to maximize my impact on the world around me (serving and being an active participant with my wife, my children, and the community we live in).

I start with a quotation from Thomas Merton:
“The rush and pressure of modern life are forms, perhaps the most common form of innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation with violence. The frenzy of the activity neutralizes his work for peace. It destroys her own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of his own work because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.”